Monday, February 26, 2007

Freaking Out!

I am about to lose it right now. I have a friend that has a luxury suite at Gillette Stadium where Jimmy Buffett will be playing in September. I asked her yesterday if she could get tickets to the concert for me and she said that she could.

Well, the tickets went on sale this morning and they are now sold out. I can't get her on the phone to see if she was able to get them so I am losing it right now.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Six Weird Things About Flounder

I spent exactly one day in Kindergarten before moving on to first grade. You see, I was a big kid. I mean REALLY big. And, not to sound too conceited, I was a little further along intellectually than the other kids. Sister Angela picked up on both things immediately and called my parents into school that night. The next day, I was in first grade.

Everything bad that happens to me happens on the left side of my body. Since I was a kid, I have broken my foot, cut off two fingers, cracked three ribs, gashed open my palm, shattered my knee cap, had a blood clot in my leg, detached my retina, had a cataract, and separated my shoulder. All of these injuries have been on my left side. As for my right side, I haven’t even had a hang nail.

I absolutely can not stand anything touching my nose. It drives my completely insane. It is my kryptonite. My wife knows this, and when she is pissed at me, she will hold her hand over my nose until I cry like a little bitch.

I can fall asleep faster than anyone you have ever met. People who have witnessed this would swear that I have narcolepsy. I have recently been diagnosed with mild sleep apnea and had surgery to have my tonsils and huge adenoids removed, so this might be removed from my list soon.

I bite my fingers like a rabid hamster. Not my fingernails so much, but the tips of my fingers next to the nails. I bite my nails too, but lots of people do that.

I still have my wisdom teeth, as does every member of my family. The have never grown in and become painful like in most people. I tend to think that makes us superior in some way. Or maybe we all just have big mouths.

Monday, February 19, 2007


After a 17 day sabbatical, I am back in the office today. As I pulled out of the driveway, my pager went off alerting me of a generator problem at one of our sites. I didn't even make it to the office yet, and its starting.

Now I could let that get me down, but not the new and improved Flounder. I'm just going to be thankful that I have a job to do.

I do, however, miss my wife and son. It was really awesome spending that much concentrated time together, especially being the recipient of Jake's hugs and kisses. (He just learned how to do both while I was home!!)

Now for some randomness...

I have ordered the flooring and kitchen cabinets for the new house, and hope to be moved in by mid-March. Hopefully we will celebrate Jake's first birthday there with our special guest, Elmo.

My surgery was a complete success! I am sleeping much better and a few people commented to me that I just looked healthier. I'll be hitting the gym in a couple of weeks and will hopefully be ready for softball season. (This is not a commitment to play, Alex & Morgan!!)

How bad of an influence is Kevin Federline? He single-handedly took the biggest sex symbol in recent memory and turned her into Ripley from Alien 3. The dude is the white version of Bobby Brown.

I haven't watched a new movie in a while. Any suggestions?

Saturday, February 10, 2007

The times, they are a changin'

The Delta House will be getting a new look over the next couple of weeks, courtesy of Mia over at Ciao My Bella desgns. It will be getting a little bit of a change of heart in my posts as well.

I have spent the past nine days at home recovering from surgery to remove my tonsils and adenoids. Every morning has brought a new kind of pain; First the throat. Then the jaw. Then my teeth, and now my ears. I've also been battling a cold that has taken out Mrs. Flounder and Jake, so it's been a little rough.

But over this time, I have done some thinking. I have come to the conclusion that I shouldn't be nearly the miserable bastard that I am on a daily basis. I have a truly blessed life, and this medical leave has done nothing but prove that over and over again.

First off, I have a job that provides me with excellent health care coverage, so this operation will cost me under $300 for everything, including the hospital charges. My employer also offers short term disability insurance at a rate of 80%, so I'm really losing very little income and none of my vacation time (of which I get 20 days a year, btw).

I have gotten up every morning with my son crawling across my chest, giggling. If there is a better way to wake up, I haven't found it yet. Then I get to spend the whole day with my wife and Jake, taking naps, playing in the nursery, and eating ice cream.

On top of all that, my buddy Morgan is putting down the subfloors in the new house. He offered to do it because he wants us to get moved down there as soon as possible. Is that a great friend or what?

And I haven't even mentioned the percocets!

My point is that I have it pretty good in this here life. If the operation was a success, then I should be able to sleep better which will give me more energy on a daily basis to actually live my life. I might even work in a trip to the gym a couple times a week and actually get my big ass in shape.

So let me introduce to you, Flounder 2k7, the shinier and happier model. I can guarantee that there will still be some rants because I am sure that someone will pee in my cornflakes once in a while, but I am going to try to keep on the positive and give thanks to God for every good thing in my life.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

What a drag it is getting old...

Folks, I am recovering from a tonsilectomy and adenoidectomy and will be away from the blog world for a little while. For some reason, a 10 year-old kid can have this operation and make his Cub Scout meeting the next day, but a 37 year-old man gets 80 percocet and two weeks bed rest.

Go figure.

See you soon!

Thursday, February 01, 2007


In case you haven't heard about this in your part of the world, I feel that it is my duty to report what was thought to be a terror attack in Boston yesterday. A few dozen "devices" were found scattered throughout the city yesterday, and Boston police believed that they were bombs. In reality, they were little more than a battery powered Lite Brite, part of a brilliant advertising campaign by the Cartoon Network.

Boston police lost their minds over this. They closed roads and subway tunnels and even sent the bomb squad out to "detonate" several of these things with a water cannon. In all, they estimate that they spent nearly $750k disarming these toys. How's that feel, Taxachusetts?

Now take a look at that thing. Does it look like a bomb to any reasonable person? Sure, it has batteries and wires attached, but so does my Walkman and I can get that bad boy through airport security with no problem! Maybe if this was a Batman movie and the Joker was on the loose in Gotham City, I could see someone thinking that it was a bomb.

And by the way, these "devices" were set up in nine other cities throughout the US, and they caused no such panic. In fact, they have been up for several weeks without anyone even noticing them.

I understand that we all have to be diligent in the wake of 9/11, but this is ridiculous. What's next, calling the FBI because my niece left her Easy Bake Oven on the curb outside her house? Should I call the Department of Home Security because my son's Play-Doh seems a bit suspicious and could actually be C-4?
It's called common sense people. Let's all try using it again, OK?

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