Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Maybe Axl Rose Was Right...

...all we need is just a little patience.

I’ve been thinking lately about time and my inability to manage it properly. Sure, there are some medical issues that are holding me back a little, but I just can’t seem to get done what needs to be done on time. Am I lazy, or just unrealistic when it comes to timelines?

Perhaps a little of both.

I think that society has conditioned me to be unrealistic when it comes to time expectations and deadlines. When I was a kid, I remember the Federal Express commercials that ended with “When it absolutely, positively has to be there on time.”

Is anything short of a human organ for transplant that important that it has to be there on time? Will the world end if our site in Orlando doesn’t receive their ground wire and lugs by 10am tomorrow? Is there that much of a difference in whether my house gets listed on December 4th or the 11th?

I don’t think so.

A hundred years ago, people were much more patient, and I think they were more content as well. Really, think about it. If you wanted to take your family from New York to Miami, you got on a train, and a few days later, you were there. You were rested, you had some quality time with your family, and you got to see some of this great country. Now, we fight traffic to get to the airport, rush to not miss the flight and arrive in Miami in a few hours. And we get pissed off if we have to wait twenty minutes to get through security or if our flight is delayed an hour or two!

Back then, if you wanted a turkey dinner, you had to cook it for hours and make sure that the fire in your oven didn’t go out. You had to regulate the temperature with the dampers and you had to watch over it diligently. Today, you can either hit the drive-thru at Boston Market or microwave a Swanson’s turkey dinner.

I have a ton more to spew on this subject, so I hope I have some time over the next few days. What do you think?

Monday, November 20, 2006

Thanksgiving, Part 1

I have a few simple rules for Thanksgiving, and it is important that they be followed:
  1. No ham as a main course. My Aunt Angie liked to substitute the ham for turkey every once in a while, and it always seemed like it was when we came to Thanksgiving dinner. It's a nice side dish, but not the main course.
  2. If you are going to serve ham, take the freaking cloves out before serving!
  3. Arlo Guthrie's Alice's Restaurant must be listened to in it's entirety at least once on Thanksgiving day, no exceptions.
  4. Men, you gotta help with the cooking. This is the 21st century and a real man knows how to cook. Deep fry the turkey, make some stuffing, open the can of cranberry sauce, but for Pete's sake, do something other than sit around on your ass until dinner is ready.
  5. Ladies, you have to clean up the dinner mess because us men will be in a tryptophan-induced coma in front of the television watching football. You are welcome to join us as soon as you turn on the dishwasher. And bring us a beer while you are at it.
  6. There must be at least one sweet potato pie on the table all weekend long.
  7. Whipped cream, not cool whip. (Preferably fresh)
  8. Lasagna or baked ziti is also a perfectly acceptable side dish. It was always on my Thanksgiving table when I was growing up and it will always be on my table while Jake grows up.
  9. You may begin to decorate your house and play Christmas music on Friday.
  10. There will be no whining about how busy the mall is on Friday. Did you really think that you were the only one who got up before sunrise to make the early bird sale at Macy's?
  11. Do not wake your sleeping husband in order to make it to the aforementioned sale.
  12. Take a few minutes to reflect on the things for which you are thankful. I will post a list of mine tomorrow.
  13. ACHS must beat Holy Spirit!

And now, for your viewing pleasure...

Labels: , ,

Friday, November 17, 2006

Oh what a night...

I have been getting increasingly tired at work the past few days, so I decided to go to bed really early last night. My wife was also tired, so we all turned in around 8pm. I figured that nine solid hours of sleep might help me get out of this funk that I have been in for the past couple of weeks, and it started out pretty good.

That was until the wind started whipping around outside around 10:30pm. Well, Spike is a fearless little guy in most cases, but he gets all freaked out when he hears loud blowing wind (you remember Spike right?). So he jumps off the bed and starts nervously circling the bed, his little nails clicking all the while on the hardwood floor. Then he starts whining because he wants to be back on the bed. Finally, I scoop him up and put him back on the bed.

I must have set him too close to our other dog Gizmo because she jumped up and started attacking him. I separate them and manage to calm them down a little. Of course all of this noise wakes up my wife and Jake.

By now it’s getting close to 11pm and I’m thinking, no big deal, I still have 6 hours to sleep. I roll over and fall back to sleep. My wife nurses Jake a little and he falls asleep, then she does as well.

At 11:30, my cell phone rings and wakes me up. It is work asking me if I am still working in our New Haven site. The site that I left at 3:30pm! Apparently I forgot to log out so they were calling to check with me. I go back to the bedroom and fall asleep again.

At 12:30 Jake wakes up and is really awake. No boob juice is going to put him to sleep unless my wife had taken like 6 Ambien an hour before and it had found its way into her breast milk. So I wake up again. Knowing that I need to get some sleep so I can get up for work, my wife mercifully takes Jake into the living room to let him play for a while.

OK, back to sleep. Around 2:30am, the house alarm starts beeping. Not sounding the alarm itself, but beeping like someone is opening a door that has a sensor on it. It beeps once, then about 30 seconds later, beeps again. This goes on for about 5 minutes, then I finally get up and go to the control panel. The display says “Low Battery” telling me that I need to replace the backup battery in the basement. I press a couple of buttons and it stops, so I lay back down.

No more than five minutes later, it starts with the beeping again. This time I get the manual from the kitchen drawer and start reading how to shut it down. A few more keystrokes and it stops. It is now 3:00 and I am getting really tired of this nonsense, but I try to go back to sleep anyway.

At about 4:00, it starts beeping again. This time, I go to the basement to disconnect the battery, a trick that has worked in the past. The only problem is that the alarm box is below the basement steps and I have a ton (literally) of wood pellets stacked up under there. I needed to move about twelve 40 pound bags to get to it, but I finally get the battery unplugged. I head back upstairs, push a few buttons on the control pad and lay back down.


That’s it! I’d had enough. I picked up my pillow, shut the door to our bedroom, went to the front guest bedroom, set the alarm for 5:30, and went to sleep. Finally, a little peace and quiet.

About 4:45, my wife and Jake come in and lay down next to me, waking me up yet again. I fall back to sleep for what seemed like about 30 seconds and then the alarm clock went off. Time to shit, shave and shower, then off to work I go.

So needless to say, I am more tired today than I have been anytime this week. I have a ton of stuff to do over the weekend, so there will be no rest forthcoming. Plus, I have to get a new $40 battery for that stupid alarm!

Anyway, I hope that your weekend looks nothing like this. Have a great one!

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

One Great Weekend!

I had a really awesome weekend! I went into work for 5 1/2 hours Saturday afternoon and 12 1/2 hours on Sunday. Now how many times have ever heard anyone say that they had a great weekend when they had to work?

You see, my company owns Vyvx, and Vyvx backhauls the HD feed for every NFL game. We need to have a tech on site at each venue in case anything goes wrong, and I got to work the Patriots v. Jets game at Gillette Stadium on Sunday. And I, of course, am a HUGE Jets fan!

That’s right, I got paid to watch football. And I got to eat NY strip steak in the press box before the game. And I got to walk on the field before, though the rain started to pour down. And I watched the game from a luxury suite that belongs to my wife’s old boss. And best of all, I got to rub it in their faces when the Jets won 17-14!

After the game, I went down to check and see if I was still needed, and they told me I could go. I walked out the exit near the Jets buses and saw some really gigantic guys standing around. I recognized one of them as D’Brickashaw Ferguson, the Jets first round draft choice this past April. I talked to him for about 10 minutes and he signed my press credential. He was really nice and kind of shy for a guy that is 6’3”, 312lbs! Then he introduced me to Jonathan Vilma, their All-Pro linebacker. I told him that me and my 8-month old son Jake have matching #51 jerseys, and that I was kicking myself for not wearing it to the game. Again, he was really nice, though shorter than I thought he would be.

And if that wasn’t enough good stuff, my buddy Morgan came over early on Saturday morning and helped me finish putting the roof on our house! And not a minute too soon as it has been raining here ever since Saturday night!

Thursday, November 09, 2006


Now what?

The people have spoken and the people want change. In fact, one guy that I talked to said he voted against the incumbents in every position on his ballot just for the sake of change. From listening to talk radio, I don't think that he is alone.

I am amazed that Democrats won as many seats in Congress as they did running on a platform of Vote for me because I'm not the other guy. I have heard no message other than that from any of them. They have no message, no domestic agenda, no strategy for Iraq or national security, and no plan for the economy.

I am also amazed that there are no stories in the national news about "voter intimidation", "faulty polling machines", "missing absentee ballots", "disenfranchised voters", or the dreaded "hanging chads". I guess those things only happen when Republicans win.

So start looking forward to higher taxes, more social programs, a smaller defense budget, liberal judges, human cloning, and a swift pull out from Iraq that will only embolden the terrorist to strike again. And how could I forget hearing those four little words that I have been dreading; House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. On the bright side, in two years you will all remember why you booted the liberals out of Congress in 1994 and will send conservatives to Washington, including the next President John McCain.

I guess the only one who can save us now is Jake Jake!

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Election Day

It's 7:35am and I have already exercised my Constitutional right. Have you?

But that's not what I wanted to talk about today. No, I need to tell you about my trip to the doctor yesterday.

I had a 4:15 appointment to see my doctor yesterday, a follow-up for a test that I had done a few weeks ago. Actually, it was a sleep study.

Lately I have been noticing that I am always tired. I don't mean that I feel a little run down, I'm talking about nearly falling asleep at traffic lights, and always falling asleep while watching television, reading, and at times, in the middle of conversations.

At first I thought that I just wasn't getting enough sleep, a common problem for new parents. But then I tried sleeping an hour or two more each night and nothing changed. If anything, I felt more tired.

I also thought that my weight and lack of physical activity had something to do with it, so I tried exercising a little. That didn't last long because I was too damn tired to do it!

Then I remembered that for the past few years, my wife has been telling me that I stop breathing sometimes while I sleep, especially when I sleep on my back. She usually wakes me up and makes me roll onto my side, and everything seems alright. Some nights this happens three or four times; other nights, not at all.

I started reading about sleep apnea, and realized that I had every single symptom that is associated with the condition. That is when I went to my doctor and discussed it with him. He said that it sounded like a sleep disorder of one kind or another and that he would set me up for a sleep study at the hospital.

I went in for the sleep study a few weeks ago, and let me tell you, it was quite an experience. They hooked up sensors all over my head, my legs, and my chest. I had to wear a tube up my nose to monitor my breathing, and had to sleep with all of these wires tied into a control unit attached to the headboard of the bed. I took a picture with my camera phone to show just how ridiculous I looked. And it was so cumbersome that I was surprised that I fell asleep at all.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Well the results were sent to my doctor last week, so we set up an appointment for yesterday to review them. Well, somehow the paperwork ended up in my doctor's bried case and he left it at home. I found that out after sitting in the waiting room for 25 minutes, then in the exam room for another 15 minutes.

So he is supposed to call me today to discuss the results, and I hope that there is actually a problem that can be corrected. Being this tired all of the time is miserable. I basically don't want to do anything at all other than sleep. The treatment for sleep apnea is to wear a Continuous Positive Airway Pressure device, or a CPAP. I know what you are thinking, Damn that's sexy!

I'll update this post after I talk to my doctor, and I'll try again to post the picture. Now get out there and vote! If you don't, then you have nothing to complain about!

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

Subscribe to Posts [Atom]