The Delta House

I have a few simple rules for Thanksgiving, and it is important that they be followed:

1. No ham as a main course. My Aunt Angie liked to substitute the ham for turkey every once in a while, and it always seemed like it was when we came to Thanksgiving dinner. It's a nice side dish, but not the main course.
2. If you are going to serve ham, take the freaking cloves out before serving!
3. Arlo Guthrie's Alice's Restaurant must be listened to in it's entirety at least once on Thanksgiving day, no exceptions.
4. Men, you gotta help with the cooking. This is the 21st century and a real man knows how to cook. Deep fry the turkey, make some stuffing, open the can of cranberry sauce, but for Pete's sake, do something other than sit around on your ass until dinner is ready.
5. Ladies, you have to clean up the dinner mess because us men will be in a tryptophan-induced coma in front of the television watching football. You are welcome to join us as soon as you turn on the dishwasher. And bring us a beer while you are at it.
6. There must be at least one sweet potato pie on the table all weekend long.
7. Whipped cream, not cool whip. (Preferably fresh)
8. Lasagna or baked ziti is also a perfectly acceptable side dish. It was always on my Thanksgiving table when I was growing up and it will always be on my table while Jake grows up.
9. You may begin to decorate your house and play Christmas music on Friday.
10. There will be no whining about how busy the mall is on Friday. Did you really think that you were the only one who got up before sunrise to make the early bird sale at Macy's?
11. Do not wake your sleeping husband in order to make it to the aforementioned sale.
12. Take a few minutes to reflect on the things for which you are thankful. I will post a list of mine tomorrow.
13. ACHS must beat Holy Spirit!

And now, for your viewing pleasure...

Labels: Arlo, holiday rules, turkey