Wednesday, July 12, 2006
T-t-t-ticking away
Something that Brooke said in her post the other day got me thinking about my time management skills. It was also refreshing to see that I am not alone when it comes to this problem.
Have you ever heard the saying, "If you've got something that needs to be done, give it to a busy person"? The idea is that busy people always find a way to get things done, regardless of the circumstances.
I used to be that busy person. In college, I worked a full-time job, took a full load of classes, maintained a fairly decent social life, played in a hockey league, and still had time to spend with my girlfriend. And I still managed to sleep 6-8 hours a night.
My plate was full, but manageable.
After graduation, I moved back to Jersey, worked two jobs, helped plan my wedding, maintained an even better social life, and still had time to spend with my fiancé.
Again, I had a full, but manageable, plate.
In the years after college and marriage, I moved around a lot for work; Ft. Worth, Kansas City, Los Angeles, Tampa, Providence, and finally Connecticut. My work days were long, and since we kept moving around and didn't know anyone, I really didn't have much of a social life. We lived in our RV while we were traveling, so I didn't have a house to maintain. My wife and I were always together, and that was life. Work. Wife. Sleep. Eat. Repeat.
My plate looked like something that you would get in some snazzy French restaurant; Not quite enough on it. I was bored. I got real lazy. I put on a lot of weight, even by my standards. (Side note: I have always been bigger than everyone else around me. As a HS freshman, I was 13 years old and 265lbs.) In short, nothing got done other than the basics.
Then we bought a house with a lot of land to maintain (4 ½ acres), at least by New England standards. There are renovation projects. There is home maintenance. There is landscaping. And of course, there is grass mowing.
By now, the plate is getting pretty full again. My wife is working, so financial burdens are pretty light. Things are getting done. I still have the weight issue, but I'm making progress. Life is starting to make sense again.
Now enter Jake. He is awesome and I make time for him regardless of anything else going on. My wife is a stay-at-home mom, so all the finances are on me. She spends every waking moment with him, and most sleeping moments, so she is always exhausted. Also, she has been fighting bronchitis for like 6 weeks now and she can't shake it. My house chores have increased to not only the yard work, but laundry, grocery shopping, and most of the cooking. Work has calmed down quite a bit from the construction days, but it still demands 11 hours each day, including commuting time. And my weight? At 36 years old, I am the heaviest I have ever been. That further complicates things because I have no energy whatsoever, so even less is getting done when I do have time.
My plate is much too full, and I can feel myself shutting down. I can feel myself going to a place where nothing is going to get done. It's all too much right now. I joined a gym to try to work off the stress (and a couple of pounds), but I have only managed to make it there once. Work and life keep getting in the way.
So here I am now, trying to get things back to a happy medium. Too much time on my hands is a bad thing, but not enough time to get stuff done is even worse. I'm hoping that my wife will be feeling better and up for taking some of the load, but I have to work on the assumption that she won't be, and just get things done. I know that I am not alone on this, and if you have found yourself in this situation and have any advice, it would be appreciated.
Have you ever heard the saying, "If you've got something that needs to be done, give it to a busy person"? The idea is that busy people always find a way to get things done, regardless of the circumstances.
I used to be that busy person. In college, I worked a full-time job, took a full load of classes, maintained a fairly decent social life, played in a hockey league, and still had time to spend with my girlfriend. And I still managed to sleep 6-8 hours a night.
My plate was full, but manageable.
After graduation, I moved back to Jersey, worked two jobs, helped plan my wedding, maintained an even better social life, and still had time to spend with my fiancé.
Again, I had a full, but manageable, plate.
In the years after college and marriage, I moved around a lot for work; Ft. Worth, Kansas City, Los Angeles, Tampa, Providence, and finally Connecticut. My work days were long, and since we kept moving around and didn't know anyone, I really didn't have much of a social life. We lived in our RV while we were traveling, so I didn't have a house to maintain. My wife and I were always together, and that was life. Work. Wife. Sleep. Eat. Repeat.
My plate looked like something that you would get in some snazzy French restaurant; Not quite enough on it. I was bored. I got real lazy. I put on a lot of weight, even by my standards. (Side note: I have always been bigger than everyone else around me. As a HS freshman, I was 13 years old and 265lbs.) In short, nothing got done other than the basics.
Then we bought a house with a lot of land to maintain (4 ½ acres), at least by New England standards. There are renovation projects. There is home maintenance. There is landscaping. And of course, there is grass mowing.
By now, the plate is getting pretty full again. My wife is working, so financial burdens are pretty light. Things are getting done. I still have the weight issue, but I'm making progress. Life is starting to make sense again.
Now enter Jake. He is awesome and I make time for him regardless of anything else going on. My wife is a stay-at-home mom, so all the finances are on me. She spends every waking moment with him, and most sleeping moments, so she is always exhausted. Also, she has been fighting bronchitis for like 6 weeks now and she can't shake it. My house chores have increased to not only the yard work, but laundry, grocery shopping, and most of the cooking. Work has calmed down quite a bit from the construction days, but it still demands 11 hours each day, including commuting time. And my weight? At 36 years old, I am the heaviest I have ever been. That further complicates things because I have no energy whatsoever, so even less is getting done when I do have time.
My plate is much too full, and I can feel myself shutting down. I can feel myself going to a place where nothing is going to get done. It's all too much right now. I joined a gym to try to work off the stress (and a couple of pounds), but I have only managed to make it there once. Work and life keep getting in the way.
So here I am now, trying to get things back to a happy medium. Too much time on my hands is a bad thing, but not enough time to get stuff done is even worse. I'm hoping that my wife will be feeling better and up for taking some of the load, but I have to work on the assumption that she won't be, and just get things done. I know that I am not alone on this, and if you have found yourself in this situation and have any advice, it would be appreciated.
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and you have a new baby (which i haven't seen in a while) to add to your stress as well. Little babies change everything and you just don't realize it.
Oh sweetie, too much of anything is no good. You have got to make some time for you or you won't be good to anyone. And you have got to start taking care of yourself - start by eating healthy!!! I'm on a health kick right now and already my energy is getting better. We can chat about it if you like.
Hang in there!
Hang in there!
What Brooke said.
I know exactly how you feel, minus the child and wife. Sometimes I don't even want to get out of bed much less go to work and the gym. But, working out does make you sleep better and after a couple of weeks you will notice you have more energy and you feel more rested.
Pick yourself up by the bootstraps.
Make a list of all the things that need to be done and make yourself a schedule. Sometimes schedules don't always work out, but that's okay. When I have things written down I always feel better after they are crossed off. It is rewarding.
Also, get rid of any unnessasary yard bushes and shit that has to be trimmed and maintained. I know there is nothing you can do about the grass...but you can get rid of bushes and shit like that.
Good luck!
I know exactly how you feel, minus the child and wife. Sometimes I don't even want to get out of bed much less go to work and the gym. But, working out does make you sleep better and after a couple of weeks you will notice you have more energy and you feel more rested.
Pick yourself up by the bootstraps.
Make a list of all the things that need to be done and make yourself a schedule. Sometimes schedules don't always work out, but that's okay. When I have things written down I always feel better after they are crossed off. It is rewarding.
Also, get rid of any unnessasary yard bushes and shit that has to be trimmed and maintained. I know there is nothing you can do about the grass...but you can get rid of bushes and shit like that.
Good luck!
schedules.
somehow i manage to go to school full time, and work two jobs at the same time..and the only reason i can think of is because i make schedules every week. i even schedule time to schedule. sure, it makes me seem like a control freak and OCD (which i am, not control freak..OCD), but it's the only way i'll ever get shit done. if i just wing it, i'll sit and procrastinate and then something will go to shit or won't get done.
you don't have to follow the schedule to a tee (like mine are in 15 minute increments...yea i'm nuts i know), but it just helps shape your day to see what needs to get done that day/week/month staring back at you.
somehow i manage to go to school full time, and work two jobs at the same time..and the only reason i can think of is because i make schedules every week. i even schedule time to schedule. sure, it makes me seem like a control freak and OCD (which i am, not control freak..OCD), but it's the only way i'll ever get shit done. if i just wing it, i'll sit and procrastinate and then something will go to shit or won't get done.
you don't have to follow the schedule to a tee (like mine are in 15 minute increments...yea i'm nuts i know), but it just helps shape your day to see what needs to get done that day/week/month staring back at you.
Part of effective time management ane multi tasking is the ability to be a good delegator. My plate is full the second I open my eyes in the morning, and I get it done along with having some "me" time.
Also, when it comes to getting to the gym, my doctor made the best comment to me...He asked me if I had an opportunity to have hot sex for 30 minutes everyday, would I find time to squeeze it in. Of course the answer is YES. So he said to cl3ar 30 minutes everyday to work out because it is just as good for the body and mind to work out.
Love the blog.
Also, when it comes to getting to the gym, my doctor made the best comment to me...He asked me if I had an opportunity to have hot sex for 30 minutes everyday, would I find time to squeeze it in. Of course the answer is YES. So he said to cl3ar 30 minutes everyday to work out because it is just as good for the body and mind to work out.
Love the blog.
Greta - I promise pictures soon! The change is good, but I am not adapting as quickly as I thought that I would.
Brooke - I think that it is time for me to be Atkins-guy again. I get amazing results when I cut out the carbs. At least to jump-start some weight loss.
Mac - Believe me when I tell you that not a day goes by when I don't think about selling the house and buying a condo. But then I think about the space to play outside that my son will have and I suck it up and cut the grass.
Elle - I have tried the schedules, and my life is just too hectic to keep them. Add in my wife needing a nap or wanting to spend time because she has cabin fever, and nothing gets done.
Blonde - First, thanks for stopping by! Second, I have no one to delegate to! And finally, I am too exhausted most of the time for hot sex, so there ain't no way that I want to waste any energy in the gym. But I will.
Brooke - I think that it is time for me to be Atkins-guy again. I get amazing results when I cut out the carbs. At least to jump-start some weight loss.
Mac - Believe me when I tell you that not a day goes by when I don't think about selling the house and buying a condo. But then I think about the space to play outside that my son will have and I suck it up and cut the grass.
Elle - I have tried the schedules, and my life is just too hectic to keep them. Add in my wife needing a nap or wanting to spend time because she has cabin fever, and nothing gets done.
Blonde - First, thanks for stopping by! Second, I have no one to delegate to! And finally, I am too exhausted most of the time for hot sex, so there ain't no way that I want to waste any energy in the gym. But I will.
If anyone gets it... you know that I do.
I wish I had a solution. If you discover one... please enlighten ME, as well!
I wish I had a solution. If you discover one... please enlighten ME, as well!
this is a tough place to be, but as time goes by the "baby" demands will lighten and change. start training him to help you with the grass at an early age. if your bride does not get better soon she should return to the doctor. that is a long time to be sick. good luck to you and yours.
NG - Ig I come up with one, you will be the first to know baby.
mgc - The doc gave her some really low level antibiotics, and they simply don't work. They can't give her anything stronger because she is still nursing. Unfortunately, there is no end in sight.
mgc - The doc gave her some really low level antibiotics, and they simply don't work. They can't give her anything stronger because she is still nursing. Unfortunately, there is no end in sight.
Anything I say is going to be horseshit because we're different people with different lives. On the other hand, why should I let that stop me? ...
I am skinny, always have been skinny, and therefore can't speak with any authority on weight issues but I have to tell you, when someone is that busy, I ask, "Why would he have to go to a gym?" It seems to me you would be burning stuff up just living. In other words, exercise doesn't sound like the issue - diet may be the issue. And by that I mean, maybe stress has you eating too much? Or maybe it's what you're eating? But being me, someone who eats like a bird, I obviously don't know. But that's what strikes me.
As for the rest ... balance is the hardest thing to achieve and one of those things that has always screwed me up. So again, I ain't no authority. But I think maybe you should ask youself, "How much of what has to be done actually HAS to be done?" Obviously anything related to your son. But we often get it into our heads that some other things have to be done when the truth is it would be nice if they were done, but the world ain't gonna come to an end if they aren't.
And that's a long-winded way of saying maybe you need to make a list of everything that "needs" to be done and priortize, and maybe toss a few things off the list. Or instead of making them monthly, make them every other month ... and so on.
I don't know what the answer for you is but I know for myself I'm at my worst when I'm overwhelmed. So maybe a step back, a review of everything, and some taking a weed-whacker to the list is in order.
So ... that's me spit-balling. For whatever it's worth.
I am skinny, always have been skinny, and therefore can't speak with any authority on weight issues but I have to tell you, when someone is that busy, I ask, "Why would he have to go to a gym?" It seems to me you would be burning stuff up just living. In other words, exercise doesn't sound like the issue - diet may be the issue. And by that I mean, maybe stress has you eating too much? Or maybe it's what you're eating? But being me, someone who eats like a bird, I obviously don't know. But that's what strikes me.
As for the rest ... balance is the hardest thing to achieve and one of those things that has always screwed me up. So again, I ain't no authority. But I think maybe you should ask youself, "How much of what has to be done actually HAS to be done?" Obviously anything related to your son. But we often get it into our heads that some other things have to be done when the truth is it would be nice if they were done, but the world ain't gonna come to an end if they aren't.
And that's a long-winded way of saying maybe you need to make a list of everything that "needs" to be done and priortize, and maybe toss a few things off the list. Or instead of making them monthly, make them every other month ... and so on.
I don't know what the answer for you is but I know for myself I'm at my worst when I'm overwhelmed. So maybe a step back, a review of everything, and some taking a weed-whacker to the list is in order.
So ... that's me spit-balling. For whatever it's worth.
Nick - Damn right you do, and I'll be heading to Kansas to collect!
Bill - For me, it really is an issue of what and WHEN I eat, not how much. Don't get me wrong, I can throw down like Takeru Kobayashi, but I choose not to. I'm very "carb-sensitive", so I think that I need to strat cutting down on pasta and potatoes.
I do agree that some things are going to have to come off my daily to-do list, and I know that I need to take a step back and look at everything and start prioritizing. Hopefully I can make some time this weekend to do just that.
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Bill - For me, it really is an issue of what and WHEN I eat, not how much. Don't get me wrong, I can throw down like Takeru Kobayashi, but I choose not to. I'm very "carb-sensitive", so I think that I need to strat cutting down on pasta and potatoes.
I do agree that some things are going to have to come off my daily to-do list, and I know that I need to take a step back and look at everything and start prioritizing. Hopefully I can make some time this weekend to do just that.
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