The Delta House

With the new Flounder family budget firmly in place, there isn't much room for dining out. So when I get to actually enjoy a meal in a restaurant now, I try to enhance the experience by noting the people around me. And since I dined alone at lunch today, I had nothing but time to do just that. Today's fare: Mexican.

I must get one of those t-shirts the servers are wearing that say "You had me at Patròn"

Four grown men dressed in business casual should never, under any circumstances, sit in a cramped little booth together.

The bus boy looks exactly like Damon Wayans in those Men on Film skits from In Living Color. And that other waitress looks a little like the David Allen Grier character.

The inside of this restaurant looks like a cross between The Macaroni Grille and the set of Sanford and Son, complete with a Tuscan-style fireplace and a beat-down Chevy pickup. Lamont was nowhere to be found.

The woman at the table next to me ordered a case-a-dill-a, just like Napoleon Dynamite's Grandma.

Watching highlights on the plasma tv in the bar of FSU beating Miami really enhanced my dining experience. Go Noles!

Whoever made my burrito rolled it the wrong way. As a result, half was all vegetables and half was all chicken, and the two never crossed paths until they met in my belly.

One napkin. That is all they gave me, one lousy napkin. And I guess that restaurant has a no refill policy on water because my glass got emptied and stayed empty. Her tip certainly reflected my discontent.

Of course the waitress that took my order was not the same person that brought my food or check. You know why? She quit in the middle of my meal. No shit. That is the second time that has happened to me. At least the last time, they comped my meal because everyone else forgot about me.

This restaurant offers a $5 discount on your next visit and a chance to win $25k if you fill out their service questionnaire online. The way I see it is the only people that fill this out are probably pissed off, want to bitch about it and will never eat there again. And if they weren't pissed off in the first place, they will be when they see the hoops that they need to jump through to get the damn coupon! Don't judge me! I'm on a budget!

Some prick bastard parked way too close to the F-150's driver side, so I had to get in the passenger side and shimmy across the seat. People just have no respect for us fat guys anymore.

// posted by flounder @ 2:31 PM