Monday, March 13, 2006

Bullshit!

Condense the nonsense. That's my rally cry on a daily basis because I have no time for what I consider nonsense or bullshit. These are things in life that we feel pressured to use or do because of society or other influences and I am sure that we would all be better off without them.

Pregnancy Due Dates: I know that predicting when a baby will arrive is not an exact science, but only 5% of babies are born on their "due date". Why not just give us a three or four week "window", like the cable company gives you. "Mrs. Flounder, your window for delivery is February 24th to March 24th. You can have a healthy baby at any time during that window." That would cut down on the expectant mother's (and father's) anxiety just a little. Don't you think?

Chinese Gender Prediction Calendars: These stupid things have got to go, and I mean right now. People swear by them. They are supposed to predict your baby's sex by using only the mother's age and month of conception, and according to it, my son Jake will be a girl. Here is the best part. If it's wrong, it will be wrong for all subsequent children, which supposedly makes it right. Get it?

Thank You Cards: Yes, these are complete and total bullshit, but society dictates that you send one after every bridal or wedding shower, birthday party or wedding. If I give someone a gift, and they say "thank you", I've been thanked, and a card in the mail isn't going to make me feel like they are more grateful. I throw them immediately in the garbage when I receive them.

Ticketmaster: I know that I have gone off on these bastards in the past, but I have been burned, yet again, in my pursuit of Buffett tickets again this weekend, this time in cyberspace. Why is there no other way to get concert or sporting event tickets at face value than to deal with these people? Do anti-trust laws no apply to them? Ugggh!

NCAA Tournament Brackets: Now I am a huge sports fan, but I have no place in my life for these things. People that couldn't give a rat's ass about sports, let alone NCAA basketball, for the other 11 months out of the year are suddenly Dick Vitale! Who really cares if Kent St beats Pitt? (And they will, by the way.)

Mandatory Tips at a Buffett: My wife and I went to a brunch buffett yesterday, and there was an 18% gratuity added to the check. 18% for someone who brought me drinks and cleared my plates. Basically, 18% for a busboy. Now I'm no Mr. Pink, but that's a little steep. If she does a good job, I'll leave a good tip. But let's face it, it's a buffet and I am doing most of the work. This rule also applies at fondue restaurants where you actually cook your own meal.

Seat Belt Laws: Though I agree that there should be a law requiring a parent to strap a child into a car seat or seat belt, I can't believe that there is a law requiring me to wear a seat belt. I am 36 years old and I can make my own decisions on what is right for me, and I don't need a police officer ticketing me for choosing not to wear a seat belt. They've repealed helmet laws for motorcycles in many states, and I believe that the same thing will ultimately happen to this bogus law.

Well, that's all I've got for now. Hopefully there will be a "He's Here" baby posting some time in the near future, but I'm not holding my breath. Little man seems perfectly content right where he is.

Comments:
Another fine post. I totally agree with you on those things.
 
Well those little angels sure take their time. Good luck for you.
 
Great post ----

I have to have c sections when I get pregnant -- I will spare you the details -- I can pretty much pick my due date with that -- that is one cool thing -- if all goes well.

Ticketmaster annoys me and you really can't trust ebay anymore
 
So is she dilated at all? I can't wait for a baby post.
 
Twisted - Thanks bro. I'm just feeling a bit surly today.

Mone - Thanks for stopping by! Waiting is excruciating.

PPP - My wife would love a C-Section, but the doctor is wanting to see if she actually needs one.

Sonya - 1cm at last check. Stay tuned.
 
So if they serve you at your table you tip ... say 12%?
 
I agree with all of these except that seat belt/helmet thing, if only because of the clean up costs. However, my own views on driving are not shared by many - though I'll keep lobbying.

The major plank in my platform is traffic snipers. I want to place sharpshooters with high powered rifles everywhere to pick off anyone who exceeds the speed limit, turns without signaling and so on. These snipers would also get major bonuses in their pay for every time they take out someone driving while using a cell phone.

Oh ... also bonuses for taking out drivers of noisy vehicles like motorcycles and those beat-boxmobiles, or whatever you call those idiot vehicles that are more sound system than car.
 
Just stopped by to see if there was a baby update yet.
 
Egan - I tip well. In fact, I over-tip. Standard is 20% for full service, half that for a buffet. If she sucks, then 15% at the table.

Bill - No offense, but your views on driving are like Stevie Wonder describing a sunset.

Sonya - Not a thing going on here.
 
Just checking. I'm with Bill on the seatbelt law.
 
Egan - I agree that you should wear one, but that is a bogus law.
 
Forget thank you cards! I felt more "thanked" when someone told me so in person or over the phone. Another Hallmark money waster!
 
Well hello Mr. Crankypants!
 
CB - They are so tiresome to me. I just don't see what being thankful has to do with writing out card in which you say nearly the same thing to each recipient. It's more impersonal if anything.

Brooke - And greetings to you Ms. Brooke. I'm not cranky, I'm always this way.

Shannon - Again, I am always this way. But I have switched to decaf, just to be on the safe side.
 
I agree with the seat belt law. I have to admit though the chinese gender chart was right with both my kids and everyone of my friends who had babies too....lol..yep i'm a dork i did it...ticketmaster blows ass and I hate them and the rest of you ranting ..right on!!
 
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